How To Be Kind When You Don’t Feel Like It? It’s easier to be a dick. Kindness is hard but do it anyway. Why? It’s worth it. Because you know you are doing the right thing. And you is all you have.
I work at a very busy restaurant. Busy is doing an injustice. Let’s call it, insanely busy. Today at work I went to reach into a cabinet to get some register tape. A co-worker – let’s call him Bob – was standing in front of the cabinet.
“Bob, can I get some tape?” I asked.
Bob said nothing.
“Bob, excuse me, I’m just going to grab tape…” I said again, knowing full well Bob not only heard me but also knew the other register would not work until the tape was filled.
“Not now!” Bob yelled at me.
I was extremely busy and a guest was waiting for their check so I said, “Bob, just let me get tape…” He knew my request was simple. We filled that tape 10-20 times a day.
Bob said, “NO!”
I stood there shocked in silence. And waited. Someone else came to use the register w/o tape and as they spoke up to get more tape, Bob moved and went on his way.
Three days later, I was at the same register and Bob needed a to-go box in the cabinet beneath where i was working. “Laurie, I need to get a box…”
I realized the comparison and in an instant had a decision to make.
1) revenge baby.
2) be kind.
3) Take his nose and shove the tape up it.
It’s so so hard to be nice to someone when you want to take their face and shove it in the annoyance they caused you. Revenge anyone? Oh…gosh it would feel so good to reject him and tell him, “HA! See how you like it…you have to wait a+*+#!!!”
Instead, I stopped what I was doing…looked at him and said, “Oh of course….” I stood back quietly and calmly so he could open the door, reach in and get what he needed.
Bob gave me a weird look and said, “Thanks…” Almost as if he knew what had just happened.
I smiled big and said as sincerely as I could, “Bob…I will move for you any time you ask…we are a team…”
Bob said nothing and walked away.
Bottom line? I felt good that I did the right thing. If I want him to treat me with kindness and respect, I’ve got to show him what that looks like. Of course, if he does it again, I may take him by the neck and shove his nose in it like a dog.