Man’s Dictionary For Women

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: The calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine”.

(4) Go Ahead: This is not permission, this is a dare. Don’t Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of “nothing”.)

(6) That’s Okay: The most dangerous statement a women can make to a man. “That’s okay” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: If a woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (Exceptions include when she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – then she is using sarcasm and not thanking you at all. Under no circumstances reply, ‘you’re welcome’. That will bring on a ‘whatever’ – see below).

(8) Whatever: A woman’s way of saying…Go to Hell…

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: This is something a woman says after she’s told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

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