Saying “I do…for better or for worse” means zero when a spouse feels the marriage isn’t giving them what they need.  Affairs and checking-out come when one partner, instead of looking for solutions, gives up and mentally abandon’s the marriage.

But is that it?  Should it be over?  Just because one person feels so negatively when the other is so positive?

There are so many good reasons and benefits to staying married – even if right now, you are both currently unhappy.

The biggest reason is to understand we as humans change all the time.  Changing is part of life.  And rough patches happen.  The point is to change/grow together.  Maybe one of you just lost a job or struggles to keep a job?  Maybe a parent died in the past few years or another parent is sick?  All of these bring on stress and a feeling of doom, gloom, ‘is-this-all-there-is-to-life’ thoughts.

We are all human and we all make mistakes.

If you love your spouse and still have hope….do not give up.

Put pride and ego to the side and get busy on working to fight for your marriage.  Go for it the same way you’d stand up for injustice if your kid was being pushed around or treated unfairly by teachers at school.  Don’t let anything or anyone get in the way of your family goals and what you hoped for in your life.  You owe it to your kids and yourself and your partner to figure out what you did wrong and bring that newness to making your marriage work.

Having the courage to standup to anything or anyone that sets out to destroy the marriage you and your partner have built, requires mustering every ounce of endurance and resilience you have.  These are tough days ahead.  But this courage (besides dear friends and a Cadillac margarita once in awhile) will carry you through so that, one day, you can look back and say, “Wow I’m really glad we stuck it out because look at how far we’ve come. I’m so happy you are still in my life.”

When your marriage is falling like a piece of poo to the bottom of the toilet, just remember, anything is possible and that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Good luck and keep me posted!

Watch this video – it’s from THE TODAY SHOW (the only thing on my TV first thing in the morning!)

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