The Best Babysitting Scam for $$ !

Minimum wage is $7.25 an hour.  That’s usually for teen jobs, entry level gigs or for jobs that don’t require to much brain-power.  And that $7.25 is BEFORE taxes.  Take home is usually $6 to $6.50 an hour.

So when the 12 year old 7th grade female babysitter I hired announced that she charges $13 an hour for 3 kids.  (Mine are 12,8 and 5) I almost threw up.  This was after she spent 6 hours at my house, 2 of which she was with the kids, 4 of which she watched TV, ate a box of See’s chocolates I was saving for a gift and slept on my couch.  This is all besides the fact that arriving home my house was worse a mess than when I left; toys were everywhere, dishes were left piled and I think she must have had gas and let them go while seated on the couch because it reeked of unfamiliar body odor.

Another 7th grader babysits for me and charges me $5.  I love her.  Like the above girl that charges more than the 25 year old manager at McDonalds, both are messy slobs that really care only about themselves and texting friends.

Let’s review:  No cleaning, no pick up, messier home than when I left AND I have to DRIVE THEM AND PICK THEM UP!  A serious cause for a charge back to them for my fee of gas, time and trouble.  One is $13 and one is $5?  What do you think?

Just today I met an 18 year old who is finishing her first year in college and said, “Hey, I’m home for the summer…I’m a babysitter…if you need me…call me!”

What does SHE charge for babysitting?  $15 an hour for one kid. Then $5 per kid, per hour after that.

That’s $25 an hour for her to come watch my kids!  And people pay her that!  It’s a crime!  But I guess desperate times cause for desperate measures.  One time I was so desperate for a sitter I offered the trash man to watch my kids for 15 minutes or $50!  (He said no.)

Bottom line:  I’m in the wrong field.  Standup comedy pays maybe….for a year……..nothing.  This babysitting gig is easy.  You get to go to someone else’s house, eat their food, sit on their couch, watch their TV……ooohhh, yeah and make sure their kids don’t get hurt or die.  But that’s simple…it’s not like you have to worry about clothing and college.

To All People Out of Work:  Look for a job during the day.  At night, whore yourself out as a babysitter.  Easy, fast, and it’s cash.  No Taxes!  And hey – you can always get a free meal out of it too!

Best idea ever!

Don’t forget to send me a tip!




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