10 Reasons Not to Get a Dog

adorable puppy in pet store

Let me make this clear.

Do Not Get a Dog if….

1) You don’t like death.  Depending on the size, dogs live 6-15 years.  At some point they will die and you’ll be sad.

2) If you like to push snooze on the alarm clock. Cause when it’s cold and 5am, when the dog has to pee…YOU must get out of bed, put on heavy clothing and take something (that will never aide you in your years of retirement) out to pee.

3) You like parties and events and want to leave them when YOU want to leave, not cause you have a dog at home crossing his legs.

4) You like the idea of coming home to an empty house – alone.

5) The smell of wet dog makes you physically ill. 

6) You like wood floors free of dirt, hair or scratches.

7) You put things on the floor and expect it to be in the same place in the morning.  (please see “10 reasons not to have kids”)

8) Your postman likes you.

9) Can’t imagine having to turn the channel because of a dog barking in a TV show or film.

10) You enjoy a hassle free life of going on vacation when you want to without having to call 80 people to watch your dog or have to pay big bucks for it to stay in a ‘dog hotel.’

Bottom line:  If your kids want a live ‘thing’ – Get a cat.  They are independent, pee in a box (inside) and are made to self clean.  You can also leave them at home alone for 3-7 days with water and food and when you come back to embrace them…they will barely look at you.

adorable puppy in pet storeThis past Christmas, we got a dog.  Not from Santa.  Oh no, I made the horrible mistake of caving into the comments that I’d be a horrible mother to deny my children the love, attention and memories of having a fluffy thing that barks.  Of course I stated out loud many times that I had to wait till I found the ‘right’ dog.  (well..that’s what I said in order to stall…)

Then we passed a pet store with white things bouncing and I had to stop…just to see.

This one ‘thing’ was so cute.  Fat.  Small (small dogs = small poo).  And I thought…”Yeah, okay…I can do this…”

But really, I couldn’t.  We got the dog.  Kids went insane (in a good way).  So did I (in a bad way).  I turned into a 2 year old and refused to take any part in doing anything for the dog.  After all…it WAS Christmas break….the kids and hubby were home and fully able to learn how to care for this thing w/o my help.

It was wonderful….till they all went back to school/work and me and the thing had to figure out a way to get along.

Cute puppyI immediately enrolled her in training classes and made the whole family attend the training.  (Didn’t matter really who was there…it was still me with her all day long.)

But in the end…well…it’s not the end…but against my better judgement, I’ve  actually grown to like her.

She’s still a smelly dog that looks like a vacuum as she glides along the floor and carpet sniffing at EVERYTHING.  But thankfully she is a cute dog.

My husband…?

Well……he finally has something that worships him.

Bella.  Half shitsu, half mulit-poo.

Yes dear fans.

I own a dog….

part shit, part poo.


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